Wyatt Baldwin

I need to destroy you. Mentally and emotionally, I need to erase you. I need to forget everything you said, I said, that we said to each other. I need to forget what we meant to each other–all the hope and potential and our unbreakable friendship.

Every time I think of you, what we had, and what could have been, I fall into a deep, dark well. I despair. Meaning: I can’t move. I can’t function. I don’t care if I lose my job and end up on the street. I cry and cry.

Every time I fall and cry, I get up again. I move forward again. But then I fall again, when I think of you again. This is why I need to destroy you. What exists is what I perceive and what I believe. This is my world, my dream. You don’t exist.

I don’t want to despise you, but I need to let go of you, of us. I don’t need to hate you to do this, but I need to erase you, cleanse myself of false hope and attachment.

That night when it all went down, something cracked open, was cut open, bled onto our nice, new carpet. Something opened up, and I saw incredible, beautiful potential. I suppose it wasn’t meant to be. It was never meant to be.

Instead, we cracked. And divided. We broke apart. “Friends to the end” is an empty phrase. “I’d say we’re friends to the end, but nothing lasts that long.”

–

Notes

1. I’m being slightly dramatic. I’ll never forget. And, of course, this person still exists, but not as before.

2. There’s no blame in this.